Dear Apple and Fed Ex,

I hope this message finds you well.

I’d like to request that you please release my computer – my brand-new technobaby Rita – from this bizarre ransom situation you have her in.

Earlier this week, I made an order with Apple for a new Macbook Pro – one I have been building up to for well over a year. At the time, the person who processed the order wrote in the wrong address. She then told me it must have been MY error because clearly they would not have “made that address up”.

I assure you I know where I live. I so wish you did!

She at that time submitted a re-route request – and congratulated me that Fed Ex would be delivering my computer the next day.

Excitedly, I sat by the window, like a child on Christmas Eve awaiting Santa. The truck would come by, bringing packages. Never was it a computer.

Eventually, my tracking info was updated at last – DELIVERY EXCEPTION. Apparently they had tried to deliver it to the original address…the incorrect address…the one that had never been changed.

I called Fed Ex and begged them to change the address on their end. They said they needed to receive the requet from Apple – I called Apple – they said they would send the request but it would take 24-48 hours for Fed Ex to receive it.

In the age of email? Really? Funny, I was in CHINA and was able to get emails and tweets out instantly. Perhaps I should orchestrate a tutorial.

As of today, Fed Ex has not received the reroute request yet – and Apple claims that Fed Ex has been made aware they will be receiving it, but it has yet to arrive. “Gee, thanks. So while you had them on the phone you couldn’t just tell them my address???” – It doesn’t work like that.


I was also told that each time I request a re-route, I start the clock over, and it becomes another 24-48 hours. Ransom, I tell you. Ransom! “So I’ll see it Monday?” “Hopefully.”

So, to Rita, wherever you are — Mommy is trying to get to you, I swear! We’ll be together soon!


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